Just rambles

I can put all the issues in my life into little boxes or a locker might be a better description.

Each problem can be quietly shoved into a locker, I can see those lockers all sitting on the floor.  Some of them have strands of yarn sticking out the door of the locker but the lock has been turned and I can't open it until I turn the lock and put the combination in correctly. 
Some lockers, the combination lock is all tangled up with the stuff that sticks out.  It is hard to unravel the threads to really open it up and look inside so, I don't until I have the time and the ability to untangle, clean and look for the combo. Then the mess inside is usually dirty and smells of stale air.
Some issues, the lock is clean and shiny and I have put the combination on the outside of the locker.  I can open the door, see the books, the yarn tangle the past and the present.  I may even have sticky notes on the inside door that will remind me of what I thought last time I looked inside.  However, if I am willing to pull everything out and look at it, usually there is stuff pushed into a corner, a crust of bread, hard and stale and no longer able to be saved.  Something that got pushed back and now, there is nothing that can be done about it.  I have to admit, I wasted it.
But, for me, a worrier, using this method of visualization is the only way I can get through the day.  If all the doors are opened at once I think, I know, I would be overwhelmed. 
I can't deal with everything in my life that is wrong.  Not at once.  Sometimes, I have to admit that I am going to have many crusts being lost and ruined.  But, in order to complete a day I can only keep somethings closed for a bit longer.
So, I know that I sound cold sometimes.  And I am, I have that locker with all the feelings and emotions closed and the lock has been spun.  When it is time to look at it, I will.

So, now you know why I put this on a blog.  I hate emailing people every few hours as things change.  I hate feeling like I am forcing you to open your own lockers and deal with an issue when you may not be willing to deal with it.  Dealing with the pain and suffering of others is not a skill everyone has.  Opening this mess can cause you to make a mess all over your floor full of lockers and then...well, lets just say, it's not pretty.
So, only open this when you feel the need to know.  Don't take these emotions outside of this blog. Say your prayers here and then leave it.  My mother is the only one I know that can pray 24/7 and not let it affect her.

Yes brothers, I did tell mom.  I had to ask for her prayers and I know that because of her and her select prayer partners, Pat and I are both moving forward. 
Yes, sister, you are one of the lockers!  :)  But, thanks to you being you, the locker has been cleaned and there is a joke book or two sitting there for us to enjoy.

I love you all!  We are Al&*^s and we 5 know what that means.

Thank you all!  Friends, Family and strangers that are praying out of love for Pat.