Wed nite

I have my computer back.  Yeah, I have missed it.

I have been reading a lot about enabling behavior.  I have enabled Pat. 
Of course, I am disgusted, mad, pissed off.
But not just at Pat and not just at the actions that have I have performed to allow Pat to get to this point.


I am mad, feel guilty.
I had one thing to do in life.  I had to raise my sons.  I needed to "Raise them in the way they should go."
I will need to find that again but it is in Proverbs I think.
"Raise your children in the way they should go and when they are old, they will return to it.'
Well, Pat is only 20.  Hes not old, but it's time for him to return to it.

I can tell you time and dates, actions and reactions, that were against this Proverb.
Times that I didn't raise them right.  Times I didn't react enough, over reacted, ignored, screamed, punished or didn't punish enough.

We didn't do it right.

Guilt

I have always felt guilt.
Always feel guilty.
I even make jokes about feeling guilt.
I know, people are going to say, "this is not your, this is Pat"

I know that but, I should have not allowed it to get this far.

Guilt.

Will I get through it?  I will deal with it.  I will put it into a box and look at all the  guilt.

I will ask The Father to remove it.  To  heal me.  One day...


Until then, I need to deal with Pat.  We need to talk to a counselour next week and convince Pat to go to treatment. 
We need prayer and power over our guilt.

So...
Exact Prayer Request,
1. Father, Work in Pats heart and brain, prepare him to accept help. Prepare him to want help. 
2. Lord, Work in our hearts and brain to say only the words you want us to say.  To not put our own 2cents into it just to make ourselves feel better.
3. Thanks for calling us to Him, to own our lifes so that when we give him the guilt we feel, we can own the Salvation He has already given us.


Thank you friends and family.  If you can leave a word of encourgement here, that is wonderful.
If not, feel free to email me at any of the email address's you may have or you can email me at
prayer4pat@gmail.com

Would love to hear that you are with me here.  I know I am not alone. Sometimes I may need to be reminded.