Yesterday, Pat went to the hospital. They gave him a few liters of fluid and sent him back. His dad went to sit with him and it sounds like they talked amicably for about 2 hours. Mike left to pick me up, then the phone calls started....
"You should come and get me, I want to see you"
"I don't feel well, you should come and see me"
"You should be here, don't send Dad, I hate him"
"You never support me in anything, you should be here with me when I don't feel well, You don't love me or care about me"
I stood up through it all believe it or not, without giving in. I didn't go down there. I stayed home, ran around outside in the frigid cold temps and played with the dogs. I cooked meals and took a bath.
Today, I am mourning the loss of all my things. They are just things but, they were mine. Mike has to mourn his things and I will probably join him in that but today, it is my stuff. The necklace with sapphires and diamonds that I bought for myself when I lived in Montana. The DSI that Jon bought me for Mothers Day.
The inexpensive pearl necklace that my mom bought me for my wedding day.
I can't go on. It will be a few days of mourning I think.
But, that is me. These or my feelings to feel and wallow in. Please do not take these feelings on. Sometimes, we just have to work through things by ourselves.
Obviously though, Pat is not to the place where his "emotion chip" is working properly. (If you watched Star Trek, the Next Gen, you will recognize that.)
The drug abuse has taught him how to be a user of people also, how to get what he wants out of people, convincing them that they have let him down and so must make up for it.
Once he gets to the place that that part of his brain, his conscience, is working again, then we will see a change. Until then, this is just going through the steps to get there. We are not there yet.
So, for now
Exact Prayer Requests:
1. Thanks to God that his seizure yesterday was actually just passing out from a dip in his blood pressure and being dehydrated a bit. Both things that are evidently expected.
2. That Our Father will continue to work in Pat, to heal him and repair the damage he has done to his body and mind.
3. Thanks that tonight is my Zumba class and I am finding great joy in dancing and getting exercises. First time I have ever enjoyed that!
4. As always, I thank God that you are here with me, praying with us and sustaining us.
Update: at 9:50 I received a call from his counselor. He has a rehydration drink available which was one thing we were worried about. He will be there until at least after the 14th. Which was thing we were worried about. I have some family commitments the 9-13th and really did not want to deal with him during that time anyway. So another Thanks Be to God for that.
He tells his dad a lot of things that Mike was concerned about. I asked several questions and had positive answers for everything. I will be sharing those with Mike soon, he is traveling this morning.
I just had a chance to catch up on the events of the last two weeks. Prayer, the support of family and friends and a willingness to let in the help have all guided your steps. There were so many moments of deja vu for me, and, yes, my heart feels your ache. But no worries, I have come out the other side of this and so will you and Mike and Pat. I wish I could give you all a big hug. You and Mike are the best and Pat will recover because of your willingness to persevere. My thoughts and prayers are with you all daily.
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