Wed Feb 2nd

Good Morning Family and Friends.
I saw Pat last night for a minute. He shaved his hair off. 
He is worried today because so many people know about this.  As I said, he told me he was embarressed that he was an addict and in detox. 
I told him
"Did you ever think that maybe people you know knew that something was wrong with you before now?
Don't you know that most everyone you know knew that you had a major problem?
I was the only one with blinders on!  And, we live in a small community.  People talk.  Everyone links to someone just 2 or 3 people away."

He is not there yet.

I was quoted a statistic last night that I want to share with you.  This is a warning though, it is the scariest thing I could ever had been told!  Don't read further unless you want to be scared.  Seriously.  This is not me telling you a joke.


I was told that there is a 3% chance that Pat will get past this and become a past addict.
I was so scared by this I can't even explain how bad that was to be told.  A 3% chance my son will live!
That is what I heard.  That is what is pounding in my head right now.
I am scared to death! 

I try to remember about 24 years ago when my mom was very sick.  We were told that she had a 5% chance of making it through the night.  I felt calm and comforted though.  I remember Pastor Dowdy saying "Linda, do you understand how bad your mother is?"
I just replied that Yes, I knew but I also knew she would be ok.  That I KNEW she was ok!

and she was

But, I don't feel that now.

God told me when my boys were very young that Pat had a purpose on this earth.  That my purpose was to raise him and he would accomplish something.

I KNOW that!  I am certain of that
but, what if.....

I will go on and post more later when I can get over this. 

I need to be someplace else.