Monday, Feb 28

Well, its the end of Feb.
Pat had to have a TB test to get into a rehab in Washington. 
He went to the Doctor, got that done, had it read on Thursday and that is the last he did for himself. 

Wed morning Feb 23

I so want calm.
Pat is not calm.  He does not create calm.  He is exhausting.  Everytime I think it will be ok, its not.

I believe he is using again.  He is stealing again.  I just want my little boy back!  I failed him and his brother.  The Lord has not failed.  I failed, I was given one task by him.  "Raise your children in the way they should go.."  I didn't.
I am here alone.  Nobody else remebers like I do what my boy was.  That child is gone.  I don't think I can live without him  I am mourning today. 

Good choices Pat, make good choices.  Please Lord!  Hold onto him!  Bring my child back to grow into a nice young man!  He is as good as dead.  I am being told that so many times!  Oh Lord.  My heart is broken.  Please please please Lord!  Hold onto him now. 

exact prayer

Being hurt or even broken-hearted, falsely accused or assumed about, talked about or given up on...it doesn't change the fact that Jesus calls us to extend grace and second chances over and over again. I REFUSE TO GIVE UP ON PEOPLE because Jesus hasn't given up on me.

I was ready to give up but a friend shared this with me.

I often think i am here alone.  Thank you for reminding me. 

7 reasons not to worry

The Cure for Anxiety

 ²⁵"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?

 ²⁶⁾Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?
 ²⁷"And who of you by being ⁾worried can add a single hour to his life?
 ²⁸"And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin,
 ²⁹yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.
 ³⁰"But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you?You of little faith!
 ³¹"Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?'
 ³²"For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
 ³³"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
 ³⁴"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.



SEVEN REASONS NOT TO WORRY
Matthew 6:25-34

1. The same God who created life in us can be trusted with the details. (vs.25)
2. Worrying about the future impedes our efforts for today.
(vs.26)
3. Worrying is more harmful than helpful. (vs.27)
4. God does not ignore those who depend on Him. (vss.28-30)
5. Worrying shows a lack of faith in and understanding of God.
(vss.31-32)
6. Worrying keeps us from real challenges God wants us to tackle. (vs.33)
7. Living one day at a time keeps us from being consumed with worry. (vs 34)

Wed nite Feb 16

hello all,
not much to report.  Pat is out on the streets.  I let him take a shower here tonight.  Told him that he couldn't be here after 6 and that he had to be nice to me.  He was very nice.

He wants back in

He has been calling me.
He wants back in to Detox.  I don't know what to do.

Monday Feb 14th

Pat got kicked out of Detox last night.  For having pot in his room.

Wed nite

I have my computer back.  Yeah, I have missed it.

I have been reading a lot about enabling behavior.  I have enabled Pat. 
Of course, I am disgusted, mad, pissed off.
But not just at Pat and not just at the actions that have I have performed to allow Pat to get to this point.

Tuesday

Hello, I am sorry, I was tired and cranky and just down yesterday.
But, today is a new day!
And its Son2 Birthday.  He came over last night, late of course, and I was the first one to wish him Happy Birthday!  Isn't amazing how just that little gift was what has cheered me all day today!

I am trying to decide if we should do an intervention for Pat next week.  Thought maybe we could get his Brothers and Sister, maybe girlfriend to all sit with him and tell him to go to a facitlity for the next 2 or 3 months. 

I am going to my mothers for 3 or 4 days.  I will be off line most of that time.
But, I have today and tomorrow to ask for prayers about this. 
So
Exact Prayer Request:
1. Thank you Lord for the days I don't have problems!  They are a gift from you.
2. Prepare us to talk with Pat about going on for more treatment.
3. Prepare Pat to hear what we say and to listen with an open heart.
4. I Thank him for you, those praying with me to save my son!  Knowing you are here helps me go on even with the fear that I sometimes have. 

Monday afternoon

I am frightned today.  I don't know why. 
I feel like I am waiting for the next shoe to drop.

Please pray for Pat today.  I don't even have the words.

Monday

Pat seems to have had a tough weekend.
Me, I am heart tired but enjoyed myself this weekend in spite of, or maybe because of all.

Any way,
This morning, its time to focus on preparing him to go to a 30 to 90 day residence program.  He doesn't want to, he has all kinds of reasons for not going but, that's where he needs to be.

Exact Prayer Request:
1. Thanks to God that Pat is still alive and healthy.
2. Work in Pat today to lead him in the right direction, to help Pat understand that he needs more help and make him willing to seek out the best help he can.

Thanks friends.  I know there is not a lot of us praying but with God, all things are possible.

Friday 10 am

Good morning friend,
Nothing happening on my end.  Pat is smack in the middle of his first 2 weeks.  The counselor will be working with him to accept the fact that he needs to go on to a residential facility for more treatment.
So
Exact prayer request:
1. That the Lord will continue to work in Pat to get the best treatment possible.
2. Praise of Thanks for you kind reader.

See you next week.

Thursday morning

Is it Friday yet?
Why should that make a difference?  It won't except, well,  I want something more fun to do.
Friday, I will get out of work, play with the dogs and maybe have a big huge drink! of something really strong!!

3:30 Wed

He needs prayer today.
He is feeling lied to.
He feels he should be trusted and allowed to make up his own mind.
Exact Prayer Requests again
1. That Our Father will hold him tight and lead him to where He wants him to be.

thats it today.

See you all tomorrow

More Bible Verses, I need them today

If you have a verse you feel would be important for our prayer journey, please feel free to referance it in comments
These are from the New American Standard Bible
Luke 18
 ¹Now He was telling them a parable to show that at all times they ought to pray and not to lose heart,
 ²saying, "In a certain city there was a judge who did not fear God and did not respect man.
 ³"There was a widow in that city, and she kept coming to him, saying, 'Give me legal protection from my opponent.'
 ⁴"For a while he was unwilling; but afterward he said to himself, 'Even though I do not fear God nor respect man,
 ⁵yet because this widow bothers me, I will give her legal protection, otherwise by continually coming she will wear me out.'"
 ⁶And the Lord said, "Hear what the unrighteous judge said;
 ⁷now, will not God bring about justice for His elect who cry to Him day and night, and will He delay long over them?
 ⁸"I tell you that He will bring about justice for them quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?"

I don't have myself together yet but...

Ok,
Now I will just go on. 
Exact prayer requests.
1. Pat will be coming to his 10 days off now.  It will be a very hard time.  It is expected this is the time that he will begin to get angry (wow, this is scary to me) or angrier, he will begin to understand what has happened to him, he will either walk or stay.  He really needs prayer right now that God will hold him tight.
I will request that we pray exactly "Father, Hold Patrick with all your might, not allowing him to make any decision that will be harmful to himself.  Hold him tight and direct his body and mind to heal as only You can  do."

We are directed to pray with direction and repeatedly.  I will find the story and update here.  I think we, I think I need it now.
2. I believe that in all things we are directed to give Thanks.  I am having a bit of trouble today with this so maybe you have thoughts.  Right now, I give Thanks that last night, I went to Zumba and worked hard at it so last night I could not sit around the house and worry.

Wed Feb 2nd

Good Morning Family and Friends.
I saw Pat last night for a minute. He shaved his hair off. 
He is worried today because so many people know about this.  As I said, he told me he was embarressed that he was an addict and in detox. 
I told him
"Did you ever think that maybe people you know knew that something was wrong with you before now?
Don't you know that most everyone you know knew that you had a major problem?
I was the only one with blinders on!  And, we live in a small community.  People talk.  Everyone links to someone just 2 or 3 people away."

He is not there yet.

I was quoted a statistic last night that I want to share with you.  This is a warning though, it is the scariest thing I could ever had been told!  Don't read further unless you want to be scared.  Seriously.  This is not me telling you a joke.

Early Tuesday morning

Yesterday, Pat went to the hospital.  They gave him a few liters of fluid and sent him back.  His dad went to sit with him and it sounds like they talked amicably for about 2 hours.  Mike left to pick me up, then the phone calls started....