my phone is off. Everything in Pats life is my fault according to him.
I try to be smart, I try to not enable, I ask questions, I ask for proof.
I am so fearful that the boy that was born 21 years ago tomorrow is gone forever.
I don't know that I even want to pray anymore for him. I just want this monster to be gone.
Tonight I feel miserable. How did I allow him to affect me again? I am better then this, but it would mean I would have to continue to fight for my son. All the fight is out of me today.
It is in Gods hands. I know I am supposed to continue to nag Him about it still. I know that the one that continues to ask over and over will have the prayers answered. I can't do it any more right now. I am alone and tired of trying. Continue praying if you can but I have doubts that anyone will or can so he is lost.
I am tired. I am exhausted of fighting.
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